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Things a New Mum Just Doesn't Need to Hear

by helenonthesofa (follow)
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When you're a new mum or an expectant one, it seems that somehow your new parental status gives all and sundry the right to give you well meaning advise, ask you all sorts of personal questions, and tell you so much more than you need to know.

Photo: stockimages, Freedigitalphotos.net

So to new mums, grow a thick skin and learn to just tune out when 'well meaning' people are waxing lyrical about things that you just don't need to hear. And to the general population, hush now, there's certain things that you don't need to ask, and certain stories that you should likely be keeping to yourself. Not sure on your personal sensorship? Well here's a list of things you probably just keep mum on:

1) Labour stories.
Unless you're explicitly asked about your own experience of labour, you don't need to relive it every time someone you know (or even a stranger) births a child. Whether you had a pain free birth, or the 3 day labour extravaganza, it is rarely something that strangers need to know about. If a girlfriend has asked you about your birth, then feel free to give the full lowdown, after all they've asked you for your experience, so share away. However, it should go without saying, that unless you've been asked to show it, no one (I repeat no one) needs to see your birthing video so don't go organising a surprise premiere anytime soon.

2) Breastfeeding questions.
You don't need to know if the mum you've just met in the queue at Kmart is breastfeeding, so just don't ask. Likewise if a closer acquaintance is breastfeeding, you don't need to keep asking her when she's planning to stop; her boobs, her business.

3) Choice of names.
Whether or not you like the choice of name your friend has chosen for her child, is pretty irrelevant. The ship has sailed, and the name has been chosen. Even if you find the name absolutely ridiculous, or more mildly, just not of your choosing, just keep your opinion to yourself and smile politely.

4) Your lady bits.
I can't tell you the amount of times people have decided to tell me about their labour, and have then told me all about the state of their vagina afterwards. I'm not just talking about my good friends, they get a special pass for such conversations. But for random people in the baby change area of a shopping mall, or for friends of a friend of a friend, sometimes stories about the state of your nether regions is just not a topic I need to be briefed on.

5) The joy of your child sleeping through the night.
If you are blessed with a child sleeping through the night from day one, then high five to you, and enjoy being the only mum in the playground not sporting bags under your eyes, and an espresso permanently attached to your hand. However, new mums, particularly those who are still learning the tricks of settling a newborn, controlled crying, and managing to function on sub 5 hours sleep a night, just don't need to hear about it.

What other 'over shares' have you experienced as a mum?

#Ups and Downs
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