A healthy relationship for a new mum and dad

Parenting (156) Kids (130) Babies (47) Love (3) Newborn (2) mum and dad (1) relationship (1) mattersoftheheart (1) afterbaby (1)

Image: Taylorschlades, Morguefile

I have recently been doing some research to see how everyone adapts after having children. Of course with a young baby it is always difficult and some seem to adapt better than others whilst some become stressed and find it hard to get through the day without having a fight.

It is safe to say that most of the couples I have spoken to have gone through similar things. After the baby comes the stress builds because of the lack of sleep, the lack of time to talk and care for each other. Sometimes it is important to help each other, have some time for ourselves, and that is a way to stay sane and stay together.

Image: Darnok, Morguefile

Things that mums can do are going to the hairdresser have their nails done or meet with their girlfriends and dads need some time with their mates to have a drink, to go and watch a sports game or whatever else they had as a hobby before they became a parent. It's a good idea for parents to take turns at having some time out; this is the best way to survive the first 2 months without losing the plot. Also, don't hesitate to accept help when anybody offers it as it becomes really tiring if you are stubborn, and decide not to sleep the first 6 weeks!

As co-parents, it's key to understand each other and put ourselves in each other's shoes. The Dad may work all day and then come home to a most likely tired wife or partner whilst they too are most likely tired as well.

Most mums I have spoken to say that they are glad when their husband arrives home from work, but as soon their husband walks through the door they'll often pass the baby straight to their husband's arms without even letting them get changed into comfy clothes; this may be one of the problems to begin with on the women's side. Unfortunately for us we have no argument here as the Dad is working all day, we are working all day, and so both parties are tired. It may preferable to simply let him know that you just need some time to go to the bathroom and in change let them get sorted and take turns.

The first 6 weeks

The first 6 weeks after having the baby are the most dreaded by most mums, they come as a shock, especially to the mums that always stick to a daily routine and like to have their day planned out, like me. With a baby, for the time being, we need to forget the plans and just go with it. It does get easier with time!

Dads often come home and when and they haven't had the best day and might tell their wives that they are the provider of the house and they need to rest and that is their job. Wrong. They might be the providers but it's not helpful to state the obvious as the woman is supporting the family in a way as well. The Dad will likely come home to a cooked meal, washed clothes and dishes and a sleeping baby, sometimes not all of it gets done, and at the beginning, none of it gets done, but all that is needed is just some moral support, for shared words of encouragement to escape yet another argument of who does what and what is harder to do.

Image: PenMac, Morguefile

It is so important to take turns with taking care of your baby and to talk to each other even when you think all is lost it isn't it is just a phase and it is part of the whole deal it does not always stay this way it gets much easier!